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Sex and Wellness with Alexandra Fine
The Co-Founder + CEO of Dame on sexuality, intimacy and ourselves.
“For me, wellness is the cultivation of feeling good in your body and mind, and sex is an intimate inter—or intra—personal building of physical energy.
When I think of the role sex plays in the wellness sphere, it starts at a biological level—our bodies want sexual release, or at the very least, most of us experience an innate pull towards sex. How do we respond to that desire? I don’t know how one can truly be well without a positive relationship with their sexual desires. Wellness is about taking time out of your day to check in with your body, to give yourself time, to love yourself, and ultimately, to find bliss and pleasure in the moment. I mean, masturbation is literally all of those things too.
I’d say sex first entered the wellness space the second a wellness space was created. Sex is a part of who we are. It is incorporated into ancient philosophies and religion. We have always known sex to be a powerful force in our life but we don't know how to treat it. Sex has always been a part of wellness, we just don’t give it the attention it deserves and then we are surprised that there is an illness in this aspect of our society.
When it comes to my sexuality and confidence, I really just don’t have shame. I find that as I learn more about the human sexual experience, I realize I have nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to sexuality and confidence. I’m sexual. I have sex and I like it. Sometimes the sex is good, sometimes we forget to have sex for over a week!
There’s a great exercise you can do if you’re wanting to become more comfortable expressing yourself when it comes to sex—take a second right now and think about what would make your next sexual experience blissful? How do you want to be touched? Who is touching you? What would make that sex satisfying and fulfilling? Ok, now call up your best friend or just look in the mirror and vocalize that desire.
The discussion of sex and how it relates to our health and wellness is important. One way we can take care of our sexual health today is through masturbation. I think masturbation can remind us that you can find pleasure within your body and that you have the power to create a blissful experience. This knowledge transfers over into our daily lives. It can help us stay present and compassionate. Also, taking care of our sexual urges means we aren’t repressing our desires. Orgasms can help with sleep, stress management and even boost your immune system.At Dame our mission is to close the pleasure gap, help society respect sex, and make the world a happier place one vagina at a time, and we’re going to continue to do just that.”